And it's......POSITIVE!!!

As with Nya, we knew we were pregnant before the test even read 'positive'. Call it parents intuition or just immediate symptoms, lol, we just knew.

Both our children were prayed for and planned. With Sweet Pea, we really wanted to have a July baby and God answered our prayers.

I knew I was pregnant the very next day. As funny as it sounds, growing up my mom always told my sisters and I how she knew the next morning when she was pregnant with my older sister. My sisters and I have chuckled and laughed countless times hearing her share this story thinking 'how is it possible to know you're pregnant the next day?'. Its almost impossible...right? Well, I always thought so until this pregnancy. My mom came to mind the very next day as I lay on my couch, feeling horribly ill and in quite a bit of stomach pain. I was even contemplating closing my daycare for the day as I could barely move from the couch I felt so ill. 

I called my husband at work and without hesitation he said 'your pregnant!!!'. I didn't think it was possible to 'feel' pregnant the very next day, so I laughed and pushed it off as if maybe it was something I had eatin the day prior.

The next few days carried on as normal; the pain had subsided and life was back to normal; however, 

I noticed a strange increase in my appetite. I was literally hungry all the time.

Roughly one week later, I started getting major period like cramps. Being hopeful that I was pregnant, I refrained from taking any type of pain medication. 

The cramps soon led to even stronger cramping coupled with very bad lower back pain; so bad that I couldn't sleep at night. I tossed and turned, laid on the floor, tried stretching, etc. Nothing worked to alleviate the pain especially in my lower back and right hip. This lasted for two weeks.

Into week three my appetite was still very large; however, I also started to notice I was getting heart burn; something I've only ever experienced in my pregnancy with Nya. 

I started testing for pregnancy two weeks after conception, which is really 3 weeks into my pregnancy. For those who aren't aware, this is technically two weeks too early to test; you really should start testing closer to the date of your expected period; however, I was far too anxious to wait. I bought three tests from the Dollar Store; yes, believe it or not Dollarama sells pregnancy tests, lol.

The first morning I tested was October 20th. The test came back negative. I was so disheartened. I was so excited to do a test that I was up at 3am. When I saw the negative result, with a heavy heart, I returned back to bed. When I woke up, I looked at the test again to see if I was dreaming; I really wasn't sure as my dreams have been so crazy and vivid since I actually became pregnant. Anyhow, when I looked at the test, the test line now showed positive. My heart leapt!!!! I couldn't believe it!! I started talking to myself, which I never do, lol, and saying things like 'oh my gosh! I'm pregnant! I am actually pregnant!!'. Nya, hearing me talk to myself and knowing it was out of character for me, came into the room and looked at me and said 'what's that mommy?'; figuring I must be talking to her. Lol She's so cute!!!
 

I grabbed another test right away and tested again. As I was waiting for the test to finish, I called Nya into the bathroom and in a squeal said 'Nya! Do you want a baby brother or sister?'. She looked at me and said 'ok!!!'. Lol I embraced her so tightly and said with my eyes a-lit and face beaming 'Nya!! Your a big sister!! Your going to be a big sister!!!'. She looked at me, smiled and said 'ok!! Sure!' And off she went back to playing. 

When the test finished, it read negative...again! :( I was in total disbelief. I thought to myself  'No!! This can't be right?!  The other test said positive when I woke up?!'. My heart again fell heavy. Everything in me said I was pregnant, but my test was telling me something different. I looked at the test over and over and OVER again. Every few secs and mins, I'd pick it up again and check to see if my eyes were right or if anything had changed. Nothing :(
 

I continued getting ready for work questioning back in forth in my head how one test could say positive and the other negative?!?. I kept going back to the tests and comparing the two over and over again. I even picked up the box the test came in and read it over and over again. I couldn't help but think that if the first test said 'positive', I must be pregnant! But how then does the second say negative? Starring at one of the boxes in my hand I noticed some fine print that read "results after 5mins are not accurate". My hopes and excitement of being pregnant hit a wall.

For the rest of my day I wrestled with the whole thing, questioning the changes with my appetite, body, etc. I was so convinced in my heart that I was pregnant that I made sure to start drinking lots of milk, I started eating 3 solid meals a day, healthy snacking in between, etc.

My husband and myself were leaving for our annual church marriage retreat on the 23rd. Anxious to test again to see if anything had changed, I tested while Nya was in the bath and my husband was still sleeping. I starred at that test with my face literally inches away from it praying that a line would appear. I didn't care about the boldness of the line, even the slightest, lightest line indicates one is pregnant. I starred and starred; nothing :(

After a minute or two with no changes, I tossed the test in the garbage and went back to playing with Nya in the bath; but my heart wasn't content.

I kept going back to the garbage, looking at it again and putting it back in the garbage. Lol

After about 3mins I could see a teeeeeeny tiny little dot in the corner of where a line would form. I held on sooo tightly to the hope that that dot would soon connect into a line. Soon, I could see the absolute FAINTEST line appearing. It wasnt even a full line.

It was so faint that I was nowhere near convinced it was a line. Disappointed, I tossed it back into the garbage.... again. lol 

Literally seconds after, I went back to the garbage AGAIN, picked it up and starred at it. Lol
I thought 'Is it my eyes? Are my eyes tricking me to think a line is appearing because my hopes are for one to appear? Is the line I think I see just a line where a positive line would show if one was pregnant?'

 I held the test up to several different backgrounds to see if the line would show more apparent against a darker back drop; lol. Nothing changed and a line never appeared. I later
told my husband, through tears, that I tested again and a negative appeared. He looked at me, hugged me and said 'You did babe, really?'. I began to explain my hopefulness and disappointment. He was very encouraging and sympathetic to my feelings that morning.

The whole time at the marriage retreat I was thinking about when I could test again. Lol
 I wasn't satisfied with the past three results.

While at the retreat I watched everything I ate and drank. Call me crazy, but I even bought a gorgeous maternity top across the border at The Burlington Coat Factory. Lol

When we got back from the retreat, I picked up Nya from my dads and headed over to Walmart to get two pregnancy tests. I had made it up in my mind I was going to test Sunday AM; the 26th.

Journal from Sunday October 26th
I woke up several times this AM anxious to test. Once at midnight, another at 1:30am and another at 2am. When I woke again a final time around 3:15am I said 'enough is enough, Im testing now!!!'. Lol

Between all these time breaks I had countless dreams of testing and seeing a negative result. On my way down the stairs to the main level washroom, quiet not to wake my husband, I walked down the stairs with the test in my hand talking to myself in my head saying 'this is not a dream. I'm really walking down the stairs to do this test'. Lol

I placed the test on the counter in the same spot Nya's test sat almost 2.5years ago. I couldn't bare the suspense, so I just starred at the test and waited for my results. I prayed another time and asked God that I be pregnant and for a positive test to reveal itself. Within seconds, a POSITIVE blue + appeared. I picked it up, dropped the test on the counter, sat down for a sec and picked it back up again. I thought my anxious eyes were playing tricks on me; however, there was no doubt, in my hand was the most perfect, bold blue +. I was/am PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I starred at it for a while and again, started talking to myself. With hands over my face I said out loud with a quiet squeal 'I'm pregnant!! I'm really pregnant! I can't believe Im pregnant again!!!'. Lol 
 

I immediately placed my hands on my tummy and began to thank The Lord for my beautiful child, giving Him thanks for the little life growing inside of me and I began praying for my child. I've actually been praying for my child since Oct 9th as I was so adamant I was with child. 

I am so grateful to my Lord and Saviour for entrusting yet another one of His precious children into my hands and honouring our prayers. I pray that I will be a Godly example to my children, wow...childREN! lol And that my children grow up in the fear and love of Christ.

One thing I prayed over my tummy this AM was "God, I commit my child into your hands, may they grow in Your ways always, never departing from You, living for You and serving You all the days of their life. May their life be used to bring glory to Your name!".
 

After praying, I tip toed back to bed, hid my test in my jewelry box and slipped quietly back into bed; snuggling up tight with my husband and wrapping my arms around his warm sleeping body. I said in my head 'you're a daddy again babe!! :)'.
 

So here I am now, 5am in the morning, over the moon and too excited to sleep. I've been surfing the internet researching '1 month pregnant' pregnancy articles. I've actually been reading these articles a few weeks before us trying as I was so excited to get pregnant again. I've even been researching names!! Lol

After a half hour or so of surfing I decided 'well, now I can officially begin my pregnancy journal for my precious baby that I already love sooooooooo much!!!!!!!

I've been planning on how I'm going to tell my husband about this exciting news and have researched ideas for weeks already. Now I can officially move forward with my plans and execute it; woo hoo!!!

At 3:20am I found out I was blessed with being a mommy again and now at 5:21am, I'm still awake and excitingly writing this journal. I really must get some sleep as I have to be up in a few short hours for church.